None of us will get out of this world alive. But how often do we think about what a wonderful adviser the inevitability of death can be to our everyday living?
I went from not feeling well to a priority one ride in an ambulance. It was a small stroke (TIA) and spent three days in the hospital. Follow up testing returned a diagnosis of cardiomyopathy. If I don’t do anything, I’ll live a few more years. With treatment I’ll likely live an ‘almost’ normal life span.
I’d been given a gift of reprieve in which to look at my life.
What will I do with the time I have left?
What am I doing now? Is it the best use of my time for myself and those I love?
Is there something I’m doing I would be happier letting go of?
Am I doing something with my time that will offer help and solace to another?
Will there be a ripple effect from my time here that will go on after my physical presence is no more?
All of those questions led me to this final question: Is there something I want or need to change?
Here are my answers.
I will love those God has brought into my life through the sharing of my time, my energy and my joy, and reminding them they are loved and their presence in my life is cherished. I will release petty injuries and injustices that are simply part of life and keep my relationships in good repair as I am able.
I recognize the value in my work to help women step out of the shadow of their fear, reconnect with their courage and reclaim their self-esteem and joy. What I do offers them solace and hope and provides encouragement and laughter. These things touch woman to woman in ever outward ripples.. My efforts make a difference in the lives of others and that is a legacy I am happy with.
Although I am happy with my direction and purpose for the time I have left, there are changes to be made.
I will listen to the needs of my body and stop abusing it with poor nutritional choices and lack of exercise to help it live longer and healthier. I will let go of the mind set that not being able to do something perfectly means not doing it at all, and adopt a mantra of small steps in the right direction will take me where I want to go. I will strive to do my best, and forgive myself for less than my best.
I will put the beloved people in my life first and my work second so I will have no regrets when my time as a sojourner through this world is done. I will do what I can, where I am, with what I have and be grateful for each new God-given day.